The road less traveled
Finding my way back
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken
This is one of those posts...
The one where I try to explain where I’ve been and why I disappeared.
I can give a million reasons, all of which would be true.
I’ll sum it up: life has been having its way with me.
But isn’t that true of us all?
I have floundered for months and never seem to find the right words to get back here and be accountable to myself.
There are no right words. I need to do it and not be so concerned about right and wrong.
So, here I am. Finding the words and finding my way.
I found myself signing up again for WW on Oct. 13. It’s where I started my health journey seven years ago. We have a complicated history together, and we have both changed a lot during that time.
I am going into this with a mindset that is more willing to ask for help and realize I will fail. Hell, I need to redefine what failure even means. I find more opportunities to call out failure than to recognize success.
I must stop defining success as accomplishing MORE each time and checking off every box daily.
That behavior will inevitably lead to failure—and I’m tired of feeling like I’m not living up to the standards. And the worst part is, it’s no one else’s standards but the ones I create in my chaotic brain.
This time, I will not be chasing big dreams as much. My days of racing a few times a month, working up to half marathons, and training for hours at a time are over.
I want to stop running away from myself to find something shiny and better. I want to learn to feel comfortable and strong in myself. I want to move my body because it feels good, gives me energy, and is a privilege.
I want to start considering food as a normal part of my life. This means leaning into curiosity instead of fear and judgment with food. For decades, I’ve used it to reward, punish, avoid, and numb myself.
I love Frost’s poem. But, sometimes, the path with the easier trail is a better choice, especially if you tend to put up obstacles and make the trek harder without any help.
The hike into the woods is still long and hard. This time, I’m choosing to take my road less traveled: the one with growing self-love, grace, and patience.
I wonder where it leads.
Let’s find out together.