In case you've been wondering...

Shifting focus and sharing what's been holding me back

This seems like the best place to start this update:

It’s a fair question.

My last newsletter came out in November, when I just started the 2023 NaNoWriMo Challenge.

A look inside my NaNoWriMo Work

I think I got about a week into that and then let it go. Life got in the way and, as the post said, I felt backed into a corner.

I had enough of that last year and decided to step back.

2023 was the year I kept the water just below my head. Overall, the theme was survival.

Life threw a lot of curveballs at us last year and almost everything that brought me joy went into retreat mode. Fortunately, my family is healthy and that is the most important thing.

I tried Ozempic and faced the hard fact it didn’t work for me—and in many ways worked against me. It took me a while to grasp how that rattled my cage.

My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary in our new hom, the major thing that caused so much stress. One day, I’ll write about all of that.

My amazing daughters are stretching their wings and embarking on their adult lives. They are taking us along for the ride as we have moved them…how many times? I’ve lost count for 2023. Opportunities come, they go and we help move them. I think we’re getting a break until May of this year. More of that to come in future newsletters.

I’m trying to look forward, as we all tend to do in January. I knew I wanted to get back to my health journey. But, I know I couldn’t keep up the pace I pushed when I was “at my peak.”

Shifting focus

I cannot allow food and fitness to be my sole focus. Honestly, while I loved the physical results, my soul didn’t find much satisfaction. I need more than that part of my identity.

So, where I have been? Wallowing in what was and ashamed of myself for allowing myself to fall so far backward.

That’s finished. Shame will keep me stuck.

In the Now

Here’s where I am right now:

• My weight is up - a lot. I am not back where I started, but I don’t like where I am on the scale. Mostly, though, I don’t like how I FEEL. That’s the red flag.

• I know I have physical limitations due to previous injury and my weight. I am working with those challenges instead of against them. Gone are the days of training 5-7 days a week for miles and miles. I don’t have the time or energy to throw myself into that world again. I’m building up consistency with water aerobics and in the gym. Tracking is proving difficult, but I’m meeting myself where I’m at and resetting my food awareness once again.

• I am working on a book about this twisty-turny middle of the journey. I almost walked away from it after a lousy conference experience in 2022. This month, I have started to nurture the Creative Writer within. I’ve ignored her for a long time and tried to make her something she’s not. We are getting reacquainted. It will take a while to earn her trust, but I’m showing up.

• To that end, I signed up with a writing coach and an accountability group to get me through a finished draft of this book!

• I am setting realistic goals that have to do with action and not results. Stay tuned for more on that.

• I’m reaching out to others for support.

What’s Next?

Expect a once-monthly update here of all the stuff going on. I want to share things that are working for me as I navigate this reset and the challenges I face.

I will work to post weekly on social media, along with a few fun things as I see them.

Bottom line: I have not felt worthy to post because it’s been a struggle. But, that’s the whole reason I’m here. To share the real deal.

Now, onto some fun stuff I’ve been working on!

What I read in January

Writers read and I did meet my 2023 reading goal. Actually, I surpassed it. I read 17 books when I planned to do 12. This year, my target is 24.

How will I accomplish this? I combine reading the books via Kindle and the audiobook. So, when I’m in the car, I can listen. When I’m home, I can read faster via the Kindle app.

Books completed in January:

• “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” by J.K. Rowling

• “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” by J.K Rowling

I picked up in January where I left off in December. I started the HP series on Halloween 2023. It’s only taken me a couple of decades to get into them. So far, I’m enjoying them more than I thought I would. Big differences between the movies and the books.

My Currently Reading List:

• “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity” by Julia Cameron. A book focused on how we can tap into the creative spirit by keeping our minds open and approaching our craft with consistency—not waiting for inspiration to strike.

• “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Fear has been a big part of my life, especially my creative one. I am LOVING this book so far. Gilbert shares her own experiences of how she has had ideas come in and out of her life and mostly how her lack of attention to inspiration allowed opportunities to slip away. I’m looking forward to seeing her suggestions of how to push through the fear

• “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” by J.K. Rowling. The audio book is on hold at the library and I don’t want to start this one until I finish at least one of the first ones

I’m having to carve out time to do the reading and the writing that goes with it. Getting up a little earlier, passing on the social media scrolls, actually taking time to make appointments with myself for these things.

My other creative project: the temperature blanket!

She’s coming along nicely. Perfect? Nope. Stitches have needed fixing. Some of it is a little lopsided. I’m just moving ahead.

I love the colors, but am looking forward to more variety as we get closer to spring. Each hexagon is one day’s high temperature. Each color represents a temperature range (within 10 degrees).

Moving forward together

If you got this far, thanks! I felt I owed the community an explanation for my absence. It is good to be back and to embrace the transparency I have promised since day one of sharing this path.

Hope you stick around. 2024 will be interesting.